Ahhh… BEEGANS
Please don’t get mad at me because I put honey in the dressing. What the funk do you mean you don’t eat honey? Are the bees treated anymore cruelly than the plants you stuff your self righteous faces with? Are you really going to stand there in front of me and give me grief for this nectar of the gods? I just told you I slaughter and eat cows, but all you give a shit about is the goshdarned bees. Did I tell you that I am fatally allergic to those same bees? I have to carry around a ginormous syringe filled with a substance to jump start my heart just in case I get a little stinger from one. LOOK…I didn’t funking harvest the honey myself. I won’t even get within a thousand feet of a nest, hive, or farm for that matter. OH!! You want to know why I don’t use stevia to sweeten my dressing? Because stevia tastes like the ass of the cow I just butchered. Here, let me put some in a plate and see if you can tell the difference. Agave…damn, I love me some agave, but if I used it to sweeten my dressing what the hell would I use to make my tequila out of? Do you know how hard it is to grow and harvest agave? Oh, you don’t? Do you even know where it comes from? LOOK!! Those bees are gonna make honey one way or another. They are gonna swarm together in tiny little spaces whether it’s man made or made by the funkin Queen of Beelandia herself. The poor little bee isn't sacrificing itself for this nectar. Sure chickens and cows are treated like ___ but a bee is treated like freakin royalty compared…but IMHO, they all taste equally good. Oh shazbot!! Sorry I offended. Let me just give you the word of the day. CHOICE. If you don’t funking like it, then don’t eat it. It’s like TV. Now, can I help you get that bee hive out of your ass?
Please don’t get mad at me because I put honey in the dressing. What the funk do you mean you don’t eat honey? Are the bees treated anymore cruelly than the plants you stuff your self righteous faces with? Are you really going to stand there in front of me and give me grief for this nectar of the gods? I just told you I slaughter and eat cows, but all you give a shit about is the goshdarned bees. Did I tell you that I am fatally allergic to those same bees? I have to carry around a ginormous syringe filled with a substance to jump start my heart just in case I get a little stinger from one. LOOK…I didn’t funking harvest the honey myself. I won’t even get within a thousand feet of a nest, hive, or farm for that matter. OH!! You want to know why I don’t use stevia to sweeten my dressing? Because stevia tastes like the ass of the cow I just butchered. Here, let me put some in a plate and see if you can tell the difference. Agave…damn, I love me some agave, but if I used it to sweeten my dressing what the hell would I use to make my tequila out of? Do you know how hard it is to grow and harvest agave? Oh, you don’t? Do you even know where it comes from? LOOK!! Those bees are gonna make honey one way or another. They are gonna swarm together in tiny little spaces whether it’s man made or made by the funkin Queen of Beelandia herself. The poor little bee isn't sacrificing itself for this nectar. Sure chickens and cows are treated like ___ but a bee is treated like freakin royalty compared…but IMHO, they all taste equally good. Oh shazbot!! Sorry I offended. Let me just give you the word of the day. CHOICE. If you don’t funking like it, then don’t eat it. It’s like TV. Now, can I help you get that bee hive out of your ass?
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